so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
