im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Houston, we have a blender
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
