We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
