Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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