dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize