how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
