you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
