they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
love makes seman taste better
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
