I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
