i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
it was like eating out sand paper
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
