What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
there is glitter all over my balls
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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