he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
