Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

Happy Easter!!!

(248): View more from Michigan

I'm an idiot

Fav 3 1188 842
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation

Fav 12 2758 3525
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?

Fav 44 7422 1484
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(303): View more from Colorado

you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..

Fav 6 1141 3389
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.

Fav 7 3685 1145
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(970): View more from Colorado

Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.

Fav 5 1810 827
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(831): View more from California

i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila

Fav 8 1811 842
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.

Fav 1 141 220
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(813): View more from Florida

There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?

Fav 0 61 9
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