i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
