I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
