U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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