I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
