tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
