where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
