My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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