thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
