Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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