I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
we made out on top of his cat.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
