i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
