I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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