Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
