Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize