he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize