how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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