and next time when you feel me up, do it right
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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