I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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