I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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