that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
