2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
