doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
even my farts smell like vagina
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We left an ass print on the piano.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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