we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
