omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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