I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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