So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I have already put on my inside pants.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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