we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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