Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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