All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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