Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
