Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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