So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
