My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
he's gonorrhea incarnate
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
as a side note pls kill me
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
