there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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