My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
