So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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