it's too hot outside to masturbate.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
