I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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