he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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