what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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