I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
