it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
