I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Small penises have feelings too.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
