There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
