suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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