I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize